Reality Hopping
by Rose Stetson
Summary: Samantha Carter isn't sure which reality is a dream, and which is reality...
1. Jaffa Jack

Reality Hopping

Season 7-ish, Sam and Jack pairing

Alternate Universe- maybe and maybe not…

Spoilers for "The Changeling" by Christopher Judge and "Hathor"

Colonel Samantha Carter walked down the corridors of the SGC. Things had changed a lot since the United States Air Force opened the Stargate exactly eight years ago. Unfortunately, both men who had become legendary heroes because of the part in the first trip through the Stargate had died.

Colonel Jack O'Neill had disappeared early in the first year of the actual program's operation, having been taken by the Goa'uld, Hathor. Dr. Daniel Jackson had recently died from radiation sickness after unarming a naquadria bomb. And now,Colonel Samantha Carter was now the only one who was left from the original SG-1.

If these two men had been remembered by anybody else, tears would have been shed. But Colonel Carter was tough. She had learned early on in her training that war was hell, and if she could return the favor, she usually did. In short, she had become a highly trained robot, and consequently, she had given many a Goa'uld system lord nightmares.

"Unscheduled Off-World Activation!"

Carter raced up to the control room.

"We're receiving a transmission." The Gate Technician reported.

"Who is it?" General Hammond asked, coming down the steps to join his second-in-command.

"It's SG-1, sir."

"Excuse me?" Carter asked.

"Open the iris! But I want a team down there!" The General commanded.

A Jaffa came out of the wormhole, and stood on the ramp. However, despite his staff weapon, gold forehead emblem, and traditional Jaffa clothing, he remained the same man who had disappeared all those years ago.

And for once in seven years, Colonel Samantha Carter was stunned.

"Colonel O'Neill?"


	2. Dreams

Dr. Samantha Carter-O'Neill bolted up in her bed, breathing heavily.

"What?" Jack asked, sitting up more slowly.

Samantha remained stationary, almost paralyzed with shock. "So real." She repeated over and over again.

"Samantha! What's going on?"

She turned to her husband. "It was a nightmare. You had been missing for something like six years. You came back to the SGC, but you were a Jaffa!"

Jack just looked at her, still half-asleep. "Well, I'm not a Jaffa."

"Do you remember coming out of the sarcophagus?"

"Which time?" He asked, settling back onto the pillow, and starting to drift back to sleep.

"After Hathor."

"Don't say that name again." He mumbled. "Gives me nightmares."

"Jack, I'm serious. When you came out of the sarcophagus, I looked at your stomach."

A smile crept onto his lips. "I KNEW you were checking me out!"

"Jack, Hathor had made you a Jaffa!"

Jack didn't react for a moment while the information sunk into his mind. Suddenly, he bolted upright. "You mean, I had a goa'uld in my gut?"

"No, you never got a symbiote. Teal'c and Janet and I got you into the sarcophagus before one of the larvae moved in." She said, one hand on his rigid arm, trying to calm him.

"So, basically you were dreaming about what would have happened in an alternate reality if you hadn't stopped me from getting my goa'uld."

She shrugged. "It sure seems like that."

He relaxed visibly. "In that case, Sam. You think too much! Go to sleep."

"But Jack…"

"It's an alternate reality, for crying out loud!" He insisted.

Finally, she smiled. "You're right. But I have one condition."

"Okay…" He said, hesitantly.

"Hold me."

He grinned. "Now that's one thing I can definitely do."

But even after he put his arms around her in a strong and protective embrace, it was a few hours before she returned to sleep.


	3. Reality

"Tell me what you know of the Tok'ra Selmak." The gravelly voice of Ba'al ordered.

Her throat was drry and her right cheek was bruised. She also noticed that her right eye was swollen shut. She could taste blood on her lip.

"You'll get nothing." She said, raising her head weakly, trying to show her defiance. Unfortunately, she was only strong enough to hold this position for a few seconds before her neck gave in to the weakness and her chin swung back down to meet her chest.

"I know you arrived onto the planet with your team, O'Neill and the Tok'ra you call Selmak. They have thus far eluded my attempts to capture them- especially O'Neill. But I can tell you that they are getting tired of hiding and I WILL find them. Of that you can be sure."

"You're wasting your time." She spat.

He reached for one of the vials of liquid on his consul. She closed her eyes in preparation for the inevitable seemingly fiery death. And the dreadful thought that she would wake up to have it happen all over again.


	4. Questioning

"How did you acquire our iris codes?" She asked the Jaffa. She inwardly refused to call him Jack, after all, he'd probably been brainwashed by the enemy.

"For cryin' out loud, Carter, it's ME!"

Her gaze hardened. "That's COLONEL to you."

He was genuinely surprised. "It was Captain last time I saw you. Looks like I missed a few promotions."

She pursed her lips together, refusing to be deterred from her line of questioning. "How did you get our iris codes?"

"Carter!" He yelled angrily. "Dammit! It's me, Colonel Jack O'Neill, USAF."

"That's impossible, Colonel O'Neill died six years ago." She said, her harsh tone covering up the sea of emotions that had been welled up inside her.

He rubbed his temples. "No. I was taken as a Jaffa six years ago. By Hathor."

She didn't know how to respond.

"All right, you want proof? When you walked into the briefing room for the first time, you challenged me to an arm wrestle after you accused me of being sexist. Something about your reproductive organs being on the inside instead of the outside if I recall correctly."

She inhaled sharply at the mention of the event.

"Kawalsky died because after we went to Chulak, we found out that he had a snake in his head."

"Stop…" She whispered. How was it that even after six years of being MIA, he could still make her more confused than ever?

"Daniel's wife, Sha're was taken by a goa'uld named Amaunet by Apophis. You attacked me in the locker room and tried to seduce me. Your ex-fiancé, Jonas Hanson, tried to play God on some god-forsaken planet, and he ended up dying..."

"Stop it!" She yelled, angrily.

He stopped and looked at her. "You know, what you did was impressive." He said, softly.

"What was impressive?" She asked.

"The way you saved the base with only one casualty."

Yes, she thought as she closed her eyes, but that casualty was you.

Janet Fraiser knocked on the door just then. "Colonel Carter? I need to speak with you."

Sam shook her head, effectively throwing off the sentimental feelings she had been feeling. "Excuse me." She said, her gaze harder than it had been before. After all, this wasn't Colonel O'Neill. This was someone's first prime, and he undoubtedly had a mission to do.


	5. News

_Just to remind everybody, every chapter is set in a different "reality." If you're getting confused, watch "The Changeling." That's the episode that I modeled this after. Thanks for the reviews…They really keep me going!_

_Just FYI: the first and fourth chapters are the same reality, second and fifth chapters, third and sixth chapters, etc...

* * *

_

"Sam, honey, I have some good and some bad news for you." Janet Fraiser said, walking into her lab.

She whirled around in her chair, forcing her to grab the desk for support against her dizziness. That combined with her persistent nausea had forced her to stay on-base for te last few days.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "What's the bad news?"

"Well, there's no cure for morning sickness."

Sam's heart sank. There was no cure. She would die- not at the end of a staff blast, but from blasted morning…

"Sam? Sam? Do you need me to spell out the good news?"

She looked at her friend, blankly. "I'm…"

"Pregnant? You better believe it."

She flashed a mega-watt smile. "I've gotta find Jack!"


	6. Familiar Torture

"Yes, where is O'Neill?" Ba'al said, walking around on that pitiful stage that he had secured for himself.

Sam's confused mind began to process the pain coursing through her body again. It hurt so bad, but she tried to keep her thoughts on the questions that Ba'al was throwing at her. "The Colonel?" She asked, not exactly pretending to be groggy.

"Yes. Where is he?" Ba'al said, playing with the knife in his hands.

"I don't know," she choked.

He put down the knife and reached for the acid. "He was also one of your escorts."

"No, he wasn't. I came by myself." She heaved. "No escorts."

In the end, he put down the acid. "Ah, Samantha. Let's begin again." He motioned to a Jaffa who forced the Blood of Sokar down her throat.


	7. The Plan

"Your story checks out." Carter said, standing across from the prisoner. "Master Bra'tac corroborates what you've said of your rank as Hathor's First Prime. And your blood work matches the analysis we have on file for Colonel O'Neill."

"Thank you!" He said, lifting his hands in the air. "NOW can I have a cup of coffee?"

Sam shrugged and turned to the airman outside the holding cell. "Some coffee for…Jack."

The airman nodded and Jack looked at Carter. "So…you broke the 'sir' habit."

"We're the same rank now." She said with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes. I suppose we are." He said, placing his hands behind his head and reclining in the chair. "Well…Sam, what's up with the holding cell? I'm me, aren't I?"

Her gaze hardened as she leaned over the table, her dog tags hanging. "I won't even consider recommending a transfer until you answer some questions for me."

He met her steely gaze as he moved his hands forward in front of him, leaning in just as she had done. "Like what?"

"Well, first of all, we killed Hathor almost four years ago. Where've you been all that time?"

"Serving Apophis, Heru'ur, and Anubis. Those were the three fastest transfers I think I've ever had. Only took six months."

"You've spent the last three and a half years serving Anubis?" She asked.

"First prime."

She turned her head to hide the stinging tears that had reached her eyes. "Do you realize you almost killed Thor?"

"That wasn't me."

"Oh, that was…your alter-ego?"

"Carter, I have been ordered to do some damned distasteful things for THIS country. Do you really think I didn't have to get my hands dirty for Anubis?"

"You didn't have to serve him." She replied, hotly.

"No, I didn't have to serve him, but I DID have to serve Hathor. I never really recovered from that...thing she used on the base. Then, I was kinda worried about staying alive. Of course, once each of the system lords realized that the great Jack O'Neill was in their ranks as a Jaffa, they all made me first prime. By the time I reached Anubis, I didn't care about living, but...then I heard about his plan for YOU."

"Me?" She asked. "Or the SGC."

"Oh, this is on a personal level." He replied coolly. "I thought it would be rude if I didn't take the chance to handle your execution." He said, giving her a steely gaze that she wasn't able to interpret.


	8. Tender Moments Real or Not Real

"You were looking for me?" Jack asked, knocking on the inside of the door as he walked in.

Samantha looked up, slightly confused from the desk in her lab. "Jack?"

"Yes."

She turned to face her husband. "Sorry. I just…thought I was…somewhere else."

"Oh really? Where?"

She blinked a few times, trying to clear her mind. "A holding cell…interrogating…you."

He kissed her forehead. "You really need to get some sleep."

She chuckled. "Yeah, I think you're right."

"Now what did you need me for?"

"Huh?"

"Janet said you needed to tell me something."

She tried to think about the last time she'd been here. Then, her eyes widened. "Um…you're right…I've got some good news."

"Good news?"

"I'm pregnant."

He stared at her for a few seconds, his face blank. "You are?"

Suddenly, her heart pounded with fear. "Yeah. I thought…I mean, I was sure that you…aren't you happy about this?"

"Happy?" He asked. "Happy? Yeah!" He said, throwing his arms around her. Suddenly, he pulled away as if she was something delicate and that she might be broken. "I'm sorry…I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No." She said, relieved.

"Sam, do you know how much I love you?" He asked, cupping her face in his hands as he kissed her.

She smiled, but her head answered what her heart couldn't. "No."


	9. The Last Death

"What are you and O'Neill here to do?"

She hurt all over. It was not easy to be dead one minute and alive the next. She made a mental note to ask Daniel how he survived it- pardon the pun.

"Jack O'Neill did not come with me. I came alone!"

He slapped her. "INSOLENCE! How patient do you believe I am woman?"

Try as she might, she could not help but look away from him, fear showing in her whole demeanor. He reached over, placing one hand under her chin. "Fear not. Your god may yet have mercy."

Fire returned to her eyes. "If you were a god, you would have known that Colonel O'Neill is not here!"

He took his hand from her face, disgusted. "I warn you. This may amuse you now, but soon you will suffer greatly."

She braced herself for the acid that Ba'al had used before, but instead she felt a knife penetrate the skin protecting her abdomen.


	10. Sacrifices

"You're here to kill me?" She asked, a sick feeling in her gut when she realized that he had somehow retained a knife.

"That was my mission, yes."

He was giving her time to run. She almost knocked on the door to alert the guard, but she stopped, intrigued.

"If that's your mission, why aren't you attacking me?"

"Carter, I said that WAS my mission."

"But it's not anymore?"

He looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand…"

"There's no other way for me to save you."

Before she knew what was happening, the knife was plunged into his own stomach, killing the symbiote he carried. The lines of his face became etched with physical and emotional pain as he sank to the floor. "I die free." He managed.

"Jack!"

He managed a brave smile. "Hey, everybody knows your brain is worth more than mine."

The door opened, and an SF hurried in. "I thought I heard you yell, Ma'am." He said, almost apologetically.

"Get Dr. Fraiser NOW!" She ordered.

He scrambled out of the room as Sam knelt down near him. "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay."

"You got lucky when you said that in Antarctica, Sam."

She took a deep breath. "I know."

Janet Fraiser ran in. Almost immediately, she looked at Sam. "We're going to need Teal'c."

"NO!"

"Jack, we can help you. Anubis doesn't have to know!" Sam protested.

"He will."

"Jack, he's not a god." She said, almost surprised that he had fallen for the 'god' act.

"I know. But he has other ways- more effective and efficient ways of extracting information. By doing it this way, everyone will be better off all the way around. You'll be more cautious when dealing with Anubis, and he'll know that I have failed my mission. Since I have never done so before, he will believe that I did not survive."

His breath became ragged.

"Why?" Sam asked as Janet tried to make him comfortable.

"Why what?" He managed as Janet shot her a disapproving glance.

"I couldn't save you, why…why you you…?"

"Because I love you." He said, slipping into unconsciousness.

Sam just took a deep breath. "Oh my gosh!" She whispered.


	11. The Pain of Reality

She awoke in the infirmary, Janet Frasier hovering over her. "Where's Jack?" She managed, hoarsely.

"He's not here." Janet said, a sympathetic smile on her face. "How're you doing?"

"I'm…confused."

"That's a common reaction."

"To what?"

"Sam, you collapsed in your lab a few hours ago. We still haven't been able to reach Colonel O'Neill."

Flashes of pain recollection came over her, her abdomen was still on fire with pain.

"Sam, you…" It was obviously hard for the doctor to tell her this. "Sam, you had a miscarriage."

"No." She whispered. Regulations…she was not a civilian scientist with the SGC, she was an Air Force Officer. There was no way that this could be real! And Jack wasn't a Jaffa, and certainly not a dead one. "Janet, this isn't real." She said, weakly.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but it's very real."

She swallowed. "No…you don't understand…I'm…I can't be married to Jack. He's…He's my commanding officer."

"Sam, I understand that this is a defense mechanism, but you cannot shut Jack out of your life. This is going to be hard on him too."

"Sam!" She looked over to see who was standing at the door, but the blur that greeted her made her dizzy. In a matter of moments, she could feel someone at her side, running his hands through her hair.

"Sam, are you okay?"

She looked at him, worry etched on his face. "Yes, but…"

He nodded, allowing his fingers to trace the lines that the tears that started running down her cheeks were making. "I know, baby, I'm here."

"No, you're not." She said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Sam, baby, it's me. Really! It's me."


	12. Rescue

"Carter, it's okay! It's me."

The sarcophagus opened and she looked up into Jack's eyes.

"Jack?"

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "Jack?"

"Sir, are you…are you…"

"Real?" He asked, offering her his hand. "Yes."

She got up out of the sarcophagus to find her father standing beside Jack. "Dad!"

"Hey, Sam!" He said, giving her a hug. They pulled apart and Jacob studied his daughter's ragged uniform. "You know, you don't look so good."

"Thanks."

"Whaddaya say about getting outta here?" Jack asked, his P-90 hanging from its supports.

"Good idea." Sam said, trying not to be conscious of the missing parts of her uniform that showed aspects of her physique that were somewhat embarrassing to have exposed.

Her father handed her a gun while Jack handed her his jacket as he looked away, conscious of her modesty. Tears moistened her cheek as she put the jacket on. "Thank you."

He shrugged. "Let's go."

She nodded, cocking the small pistol in her hands. They hurried down the hallways. "If I may ask, sir, how were you able to find me?"

'We came with you." He said, confused.

"No…I remember that…I meant…how'd you get in?"

"We set up a little distraction." Her dad answered.

"I must have been in the sarcophagus. I don't remember hearing anything."

"Really? Because I could have sworn that we loaded Ba'al's personal chambers with enough C-4 to blow him to kingdom come."

"Ba'al's dead?"

"We assume so, but…you know how it was with Apophis…he just wouldn't die. However, if we're correct, he went in there about three seconds before we detonated the explosives."

"How long was I in there?" She asked.

"Don't know." Jack said as they got outside. "There may be a bunch of Jaffa guarding the gate. Stick close to me and your dad."

She nodded, and with that, Jack took point, Sam following close behind, and Jacob bringing up the rear.

"Carter, dial it up." He said, as a Jaffa patrol came out of the foliage around the Stargate.

She ran toward the Stargate, pressing the seven symbols into the DHD, Jack and Jacob covering her. A staff blast hit her in the shoulder as she pressed the center button to activate the wormhole.

Jack pressed in his iris code, as he grabbed Carter who had fallen against the DHD. "You okay?" He asked, helping her to run through the even horizon.

She nodded as she clutched her elbow to keep her arm immobile. Jacob covered them, following closely behind them. They arrived into the Gate Room to find General Hammond, Teal'c and Daniel at the bottom of the ramp. The iris was closed just milliseconds after Jacob got through the Gate.

"Nice!" Jack said to the Gate technicians.

Sam walked down the ramp after Jack let go of her collar, dressed in the ragged, blood-soaked clothing. She felt her head spin in dizziness.

"Nice to have you back, Major."

She tried to clear her head. "Thank you, si…"

She collapsed into Jack's arms.


	13. Therapy

She awoke in the infirmary, hooked up to an IV with her arm bandaged.

"Hi." Janet said, Sam's chart in her hand. "How're you feeling?"

"Where am I?" She asked, slightly confused.

"The infirmary at the SGC." Janet said, somewhat concerned.

"No, I know…I mean, what version…?"

"Version of what?"

"Am I married, a Colonel, or have I just been tortured by Ba'al?"

"You've just returned from being tortured by Ba'al."

"This is real." She said, closing her eyes in a somewhat mournful relief. What she and Jack had in her imagination was good…great, even…and now, he was her commanding officer again. "Damn!" She cursed softly.

"Sam?"

She shook her head. "I'm sorry…I'm REALLY glad to be back."

"What did he do to you?" Janet asked. "You said something about versions of realities?"

"Nothing."

"Sam…"

"Janet, it wasn't so much him as it as me…I did this to protect myself. I mean, he gave me the Blood of Sokar, so it wasn't entirely me, but…"

"He gave you the Blood of Sokar? That didn't show up on any of the tests that I ran…"

"It was the first few hallucinations. To be honest, I forgot how many there were…"

"Sam, do you have any idea how many times you were killed and revived using the sarcophagus?"

"Janet, I'm fine."

"Sam, you've been tortured, killed and brought back to life more times than you can count, and to be honest more times than I can even imagine. There are bound to be adverse psychological effects."

"I know. And I'm not trying to lie to you. I just…I don't need to see a shrink, I need to see my team. I need to see…" The name of her commanding officer was not uttered, but Janet knew instinctually who she meant.

"Sam, I can't send you back through the Stargate without a psych evaluation."

"Then give me some time!" She said, frustrated. "Let me talk to Daniel…he's better than MacKenzie because he actually knows what's going on out there!"

"But he cannot remain as objective as he needs to be to help you through this." Janet said, soothingly.

"I'm not going to see MacKenzie."

"Sam, I have deadlines, and if you're not going to see him, I have to inform General Hammond. You will be stripped of your rank and sent into the civilian world. Is that really what you want?"

"Janet, just give me some time." She begged.

"Sam…"

"How rigid are these deadlines?"

"One to two weeks."

Sam's face registered her horror. "I can't possibly be expected to deal with that in one to two weeks!"

"Sam, please…go home and get some rest. You've been through a lot, and your body's protesting quite loudly."

Sam nodded, tears running down her face. She needed something…but neither Janet nor MacKenzie could help her with it.

"If you need anything…"

"Thank you." She said, cutting the doctor off.

She nodded.

She hastened out of the infirmary only to run, literally into Colonel O'Neill.

"Ooph!" He said, as the air from his lungs were expelled forcefully. He looked down at Carter. "Carter? You okay?"

She looked up. His concerned eye, his face, his hair, his chest, his arms…first a Jaffa, then her husband…memories swirled around her, making her dizzy and threatening to take the last bit of sanity she had managed to hold onto with each swirl. "I…you…I missed you!" She said, sobbing into his BDUs.

"Who, me? Your grouchy and annoyingly cute commanding officer?"

She nodded into his shirt, still clinging to it as if her life depended on it.

He realized that she wouldn't be letting go anytime soon, and quickly realized that to have this scene in the hallway was probably not the best idea. He led her to the storage closet to the side and opened the door. They walked into it, and she pulled away, her tears leaving a trail on her face.

"I'm sorry, sir…you didn't…"

"Shh." He said, placing a finger on her lips. "I'm here. You don't have to apologize."

She bit her lip as she tried to regain her composure.

"You want to…leave?" He asked.

She nodded.

He opened the door again, after handing her a handkerchief with which she could wipe the tears from her face.

She started walking toward the locker room where she would change in her civilian clothes when she realized that Jack was walking in the opposite direction. "Jack!" She called, running after him.

"Jack?"

She froze. "Sir…I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. I probably should have told you that I'm going to tell Hammond that I'm leaving. He had some paperwork that he wanted me to turn in."

Suddenly, she felt guilty. "I'm sorry…if you had plans…"

"Carter…first of all, I do not in any way shape or form consider paperwork plans. Second of all, you've just been through hell and back again. Several times. You want to have someone there. That's your right."

She nodded, somewhat submissively. But as he turned to leave again, she grabbed his arm. "Don't leave me." She said, frantically.

"Okay…I'll just use the phone." He said, surprised by the desperation in her voice. He studied her for a moment. She was barely talking and only in short spurts. She was full of fear and terror, but at the same time, a genuine sadness enveloped her. If he was still alive, he thought, Ba'al would wish he had never been born after messing with Carter.

He dialed the General's extension. "Sir…it's me. I'm gonna take Carter home. She's…" He trailed off as the General said something. "Yes, sir. I understand, sir. Thank you, sir."

He hung up the phone. "SG-1 is on stand-down for three weeks or until you feel better."

She nodded, grateful that he had shared that information with her.

"So…let me take you home."

She nodded and he led her down the concrete corridors of the SGC to his truck at the surface.


	14. Going Home

He pulled up in front of her house and she looked out the window with a sigh. It looked so peaceful and quiet.

"Something wrong?"

She turned back to look at him and gave him a weak smile. "No."

"You sure?"

She nodded as she opened the door. She hopped out of the truck and walked slowly up the sidewalk to her house. Jack caught up to her and put his arm around her. "Thanks."

He shrugged. They walked up to the stairs and she reached for the doorknob. She turned it and opened the door to find her house ransacked. She just stood in her doorway, agape. Jack quickly grabbed her by the shoulders and brought her back outside.

She just stood there in shock. "My house…somebody just…"

Jack put his arms around her as he got onto his cell phone. "This is Colonel Jack O'Neill. We have a confirmed break in at 427 Chesapeake Avenue."

--

The police showed up a short time later. By now, Sam was shaking and Jack was rubbing her arms, trying to warm her up.

"Is she okay?" The kindly police officer asked.

"She's in shock."

The officer reached into his trunk and pulled out a gray blanket. "Here."

Jack and the officer placed it around Sam. Just then, Janet, Daniel and Teal'c arrived. Janet hurried over to Sam. "Sam…Sam…" Sam's eyes were still somewhat glazed in shock.

"Colonel?" Janet asked, looking up at Jack.

"She's been practically catatonic since she saw the house."

She nodded. "Sam, you need to come with me." She said, slowly and clearly.

Sam shook her head, refusing to let go of Jack's arm.

"You know, Doc, I think…I think I'll come with."

She nodded. "I think that's probably a good idea."

"We can call and let you know if we find anything." The officer offered helpfully.

"Thanks."

--

"I'd like to take her back to the infirmary." Janet said as she, Jack and Sam were approached by Daniel and Teal'c.

Sam was now lying asleep in the backseat of the cab of Jack's truck, so the other three adults were able to converse without thought to how she would react.

"I don't know, Doc…she was pretty adamant about wanting to leave." Jack said, his protective nature growing more and more dominant as the minutes ticked by.

"Well, what do you want me to do? She needs something stable. Her house is obviously lacking in that element."

Jack looked over at the sleeping form of his second-in-command. "What about my place? I mean…SG-1 is on downtime until she's better, so…"

Janet thought it over for a few moments. Almost instantly she realized that it would be good for her, after all she seemed to be clinging to Jack more than anyone else on her team, and she would most likely get crowded by well-wishers at the base. "Well, Colonel…I suppose that would be all right. If you promise to call me if she gets any worse."

He nodded. "Hey…depending on how she's feeling, maybe you should all come by tonight."

"Sure."

"We would be honored, O'Neill."

"Well, I'll call you if she feels up to it." He said, climbing into the back of his truck to make sure Carter was all fastened in.

Daniel and Janet exchanged looks of concern and understanding as the Colonel positioned Sam so that he could close the door. He hopped out of the truck and Janet approached him. "Sir…if she can't sleep…" She handed him a bottle of sleeping pills.

He nodded. "Thanks."


	15. Where Am I?

"_General Hammond, sir." Sam said, walking into his office._

"_Colonel…how is the interrogation coming?"_

"_We've gotten a lot of information." She said, somewhat hesitantly._

"_But…"_

"_Colonel O'Neill passed away thirty minutes ago."_

"_**Sam…SAM!"**_

"_**What?" She asked, feeling Jack's strong hands on her arm, shaking her awake.**_

"_**You okay? You were thrashing about."**_

_**She nodded.**_

"_**So…nightmare? Tell me what it was about."**_

_**The kind face of Jack O'Neill morphed into the evil face of Ba'al. She didn't answer and he grabbed her. "Tell me what I want to know!"**_

She sat up in bed, breathing heavily. The late afternoon sun was shining through the window, calming her. As her breathing evened, she wiped the sweat from her forehead. She was safe, she reminded herself.

She looked around the room for confirmation, but instead of finding the comforting walls of her bedroom, she found an unfamiliar room. She jumped out of bed quickly. Those weren't her sheets. She thought, seeing the white floral sheets covering the mattress.

The bed sat in the corner of the room up against two perpendicular walls, unlike her bed which sat, only touching the wall against her headboard. That wasn't her bed.

She looked around the room to find a small desk and chest of drawers lining the walls, neither of which matched the description of her bedroom.

Part of her wanted to scream, but another part of her wanted to be silent so she could investigate her surroundings. The more rational part of her mind won over. She stepped lightly through the door and looked to her right and to her left. To her left, she found a closed door only a few feet at the end. At the opposite side of the hallway from her was another door. It was also closed.

She looked to her right. It was a longer hallway that led to what was most likely the living area with the kitchen and living room.

Something about the hallway looked familiar, but she couldn't place its familiarity. She shook off the feeling. She didn't need any distractions if there was someone holding her captive. She went to secure the door immediately at the end of the hallway and opened it to find linens and towels. They were haphazardly folded, but they were linens nonetheless. She closed that door and turned to the one immediately in front of her. As she opened the door, the room looked much more familiar than the hallway had. It was her commanding officer's bedroom where they had found him after his abduction by the rogue Asgard, Loki.

Almost immediately, she closed the door and turned to hurry down the rest of the hallway before she bumped into Jack O'Neill himself.

"You okay?"

She studied him, trying to decipher which version of her commanding officer was standing in front of her.

"Carter…you're at my house." He said, stepping toward her.

She stepped back, and he responded accordingly. "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to startle you."

She nodded. "It's okay."

He looked at her, realizing that she probably felt like a caged animal. He took a step down the hallway in the opposite direction. "Did you sleep okay?"

He walked toward the kitchen and living room entry area. She followed silently.

"Why am I here?" She finally blurted. Jack turned, somewhat surprised.

"Uh…well…your house was ransacked. You went into shock. Doc Fraiser wanted you to go to the infirmary, but I thought you'd be more comfortable here."

She flashed him a tiny smile of gratitude as the smell of barbecued chicken wafted to their nostrils. Jack hurried out to the grill, cursing softly. He rotated the chicken breasts expertly before turning to find that Sam had followed him outside.

"Smells great."

"Well…contrary to popular belief, I am a fairly decent cook."

"With or without the beer?" She asked, almost asking permission to banter with him.

"Touché."

"No…really."

"I'll have you know, Carter, that while I drank a beer during the grilling, there was not one drop that went onto the chicken."

"Not one drop?"

"Carter, I may be a lot of things, but I'm not stupid. Everybody knows that beer-becued chicken is just plain gamey!"

She found herself chuckling in spite of herself.

He smiled, grateful that, for a moment, he had been able to help her forget her fears.

"Dinner should be ready in a few minutes."

"Great. Can I help with anything?"

"Uh, if you could grab the salad and beer from the fridge, I'll grab the plates and we'll be ready to go."

"Go where?"

"We'll eat out here…unless you don't want to."

She shook her head. "No…that's fine."

"If you're up to it, Daniel and Teal'c would like to come over."

She took in a breath feeling somewhat uncomfortable about that idea.

"Or…we can play it by ear."

"That…that sounds good."

He studied her again, only this time, she squirmed a little under his gaze. "You okay?"

"I'm…I'm fine."

He took another long look at her before he nodded, almost reluctantly accepting her self-assessment.

"Okay. Well...let's go get that stuff."

Sam nodded, following him into the house.


	16. What We Have

The seconds ticked by slowly. They had both finished eating, though neither moved from their positions. Sam sat, gazing at the wondrous beauty before her with eyes that seemed to gloss over at it. It was obvious to Jack that she wasn't even noticing the rich sunset or the wooded tree line, she was lost in her own little world, and it worried him a little, after all, he knew what went through a former POW's mind as they tried not only to process what had occurred but also to transition back into real life. And, although he had managed to survive with relatively few scars, physical or psychological, he knew that a great many of his fellow service men and women were never able to return to 'normal' life.

"What happened?" He finally asked, gently.

She didn't physically react, which made Jack think that she hadn't heard his question, but in reality, images of Jaffa Jack, Husband Jack, and Commanding officer Jack flashed before her in quick succession. Her grip on the arms of the chair she sat on increased until her knuckles turned white as she bit back a scream as she saw Jaffa Jack fall with that fatal plunge of the knife into his symbiote's pouch for the hundredth time in the last day.

He debated asking the question again, but before he decided to go ahead and do so, he heard a small voice, almost ethereal in quality, begin the horrific narrative.

"He killed me." There was a pause during which she allowed the words to sink into the depths of his mind. "Over and over again."

Jack didn't react. He'd been though that hell before, and he'd been expecting that answer.

"But that wasn't the worst part."

The torture, he thought, the acid, the knives, the fiery death, the knowledge that it would all happen again…that was the worst part.

"He confused me. I didn't know who I was and…" Her voice caught. "I didn't know how you were."

Curiosity took over. "As in SG-1?"

She looked over at him for the first time since the end of dinner, an untold sadness lined on her face. "No. You, Jack."

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Me?"

She nodded, returning her gaze to the images available only to her as she looked forward. "In one version of reality, Hathor made you a Jaffa."

"Really?" He asked, surprised. She had filled him in on the happenings from their first encounter with the goa'uld queen, but he hadn't realized how heavily it had weighed on her mind.

She nodded, looking at the hardwood of the deck, blinking back the tears. "You had disappeared from the base when Hathor left. After we killed her, you went on to be first prime of Heru'ur, Apophis, and finally Anubis. He sent you back to the SGC on a mission."

He didn't like the sound of this. "Mission?"

"Kill me, sir."

"Kill you?" He asked, after recovering from her expressionless 'sir.' "Carter, I could never…"

"I know." She interrupted. "And you didn't."

"I didn't?"

"No."

"Then what…?"

"You killed yourself in front of me."

He gulped, feeling her pain. Losing a team member was one of the most painful experiences he had ever gone through, and one he wouldn't wish even on his worst enemy. And after all, the deeper the bond, the stronger the pain.

"I see."

"No, Jack, you don't see." She said, angry and depressed tears running down her cheeks. "There was another reality…"

"Another reality?"

She nodded, barely moving her head. It was almost as if this reality was more painful for her than the one in which he died. What could possibly be worse than that? He asked himself, ignorantly.

"We were…married."

"We were?" He asked, wondering why she was in tears. Had he misinterpreted her?

"Yes. We had just found out that we were expecting our first child too."

"Okay…wow."

"I miscarried as Ba'al plunged a knife into my abdomen."

"In this…reality?"

"Actually, it was in real life that I got the knife in my abdomen. I assume the sarcophagus healed anything that had gone wrong, but…"

She stopped, unable to continue with her tears.

"C'mere." He said, placing one arm around her shoulders.

She cried on his shoulder for a few moments before she dried her tears. "It wasn't the miscarriage that upset me…it was knowing that no matter how hard we try to be there for each other, we're just going to hurt each other because of the damn regulations!"

"Sam…"

"I can't do it…I can't lose you again…" She said, looking up at him with teary eyes. "So, I'm going to resign my commission."

"Whoa…Carter…"

"Don't."

"Don't what?"

"Don't 'Carter' me…"

"Okay, Sam…think long and hard about this…you love your job…"

"I'm tired of thinking, Jack. I want to feel. I don't want to overanalyze this and feel justified about not having a life because I haven't gotten the bottom of what 'we' have."

"And what do we have?" He asked, standing in frustration.

"Well, if you have to ask that, I guess we don't have anything at all." She said, standing and going to the guest room.


	17. Apologies

He approached the door of the guest room cautiously, almost asking permission even to knock. But her back was turned to him, and he wasn't sure that she knew he was there. He knocked twice on the door to alert her of his presence.

She didn't answer him.

"I…I'm sorry if that offended you…I…I guess I'm not good about talking…at least about feelings."

She sniffed in response, and he noticed that she had a box of Kleenex in her hands, periodically getting a dry tissue from the box.

"I can go…if you…"

"I'm sorry." She answered.

"What? Why?" He asked, taking a few steps inside.

"All of these years, I've pushed you away, and now…" She wiped her nose with the Kleenex. "If you don't feel the same way for me…"

"Now, I didn't say that."

She looked at him, a deep pain etched in lines on her face he was sure had suddenly appeared since her encounter with Ba'al. "Then I scared you."

"In more than one way…yes."

"I guess this was kind of a near-death experience. Hell, I was dead." She said as Jack cautiously sat next to her on the bed. "I don't want to make the same mistakes now that I'm here…alive."

"I know." He said, in quiet commiseration.

"So I need to know if this is one of the mistakes I can change…or if I'll have to live with my guilt."

She was finally placing the ball fully in his court. He could screw it up if he wanted to break her heart, or he could take her not-so-subtle hint. "You're sure you want to do this?" He asked, carefully placing a tendril of her blond hair behind her ear, in almost a caress.

She closed her eyes at his touch. "Yes."

"And nothing I can say can stop you?"

She opened her eyes. "Only one thing you can say will stop me."

"I wouldn't do that to you."

Tears filled her eyes again. "I know."

"You know, Hammond's going to flip when you turn in your resignation."

She chuckled. "I know."

"I mean, you're like the smartest person in the world, and you're our EXPERT!"

She didn't respond verbally, but placed her head on his shoulder. He countered accordingly by placing his arm around her shoulder.

"What're you going to tell him?" He asked, his voice low.

"That I'll be reporting to work on Monday."

Jack's look of confusion was priceless. "But…"

"As a civilian scientist."

"Ah…"

"I guess…this is the end of SG-1 as we know it." She said, trying to chuckle. The effort distorted the sound, and made it seem like she had choked on her emotion.

"I know. Kinda sad to realize that, huh?"

She nodded.

"But I hear that Daniel's going to be REALLY happy when we…you know…do this whole relationship thing."

"Really? Why?"

"He's got his whole life savings on the line."

She snorted. "You're kidding."

"I wish I was." They both chuckled, and Jack continued. "And Teal'c! He has some MAJOR betting going on."

"And General Hammond?"

"He's working with the Major Leagues…the Pentagon. And your dad."

"My DAD?" She squeaked.

"Yep."

He allowed his hand to feather through her hair, and he was grateful for the simple pleasure that action initiated. However, it was her laugh that made him the most happy. The laugh that made the lines on her face disappear. The laugh that made him forget the last few days.

As Jacob could attest, he had literally been worried sick. To the point of throwing up once. He had been a prisoner to Ba'al. He knew what that entailed…and he could only imagine how much worse it could get.

"Did he…hurt you…?" He left the question open-ended and Sam quickly caught his meaning.

"No, he didn't take advantage of me. I think…I think he would have wanted to, but…my imagination was too…entertaining for him."

Jack swallowed bile. "We should have gotten to you sooner."

"What?"

"You shouldn't have had to experience this…one or the other of us should have gotten captured…"

"Jack O'Neill, you stop that right now." She said, her eyes flashing. He was so surprised that he did stop. "I might not want to go through that again, but it's given me exactly what I wanted…it taught me that I was caging myself up behind bars that could be bent. It taught me that there are windows that I can open up if a door seems to be closed. Jack, it gave me you."

"But…"

"We'll get through this. As much as I'd hate to admit it…it'll take a few visits to MacKenzie, but overall, it'll be you and me that gets me through this. Daniel, Janet, Cassie and Teal'c will help too."

"Are you sure?"

She looked him straight in the eyes. "I've never been so sure about anything in my entire life."

He saw strength in her eyes, alongside resolve, love and traces of fear. "You're scared."

"A little." She admitted. "It's not everyday that I choose to take the unknown road, leaving the known worlds of science and analysis behind. So, yes…I am a little scared. I'm scared that this might not all be real. I'm scared that even if it is real that it won't last forever."

"Me too."

She knew he spoke from personal experience.

"But I'm willing to let it happen…for better or worse."

He smiled. "Was that a proposal, Samantha?"

She chuckled. "You take it as you will."

The inner recesses of his mind turned her words over and over until he figured out what he wanted to do.


End file.
